I have been meaning to blog for a while but I could not quite grasp what I wanted to blog about. With the help of my good friend Anton I have had an epiphany but with that epiphany comes frustration. This frustration rears its ugly head in my decision making and daily motivation.
I admit it...I had stopped going to church again. I realize now that it was the wrong choice but I did not want to be at Central Baptist any more. What had initially attracted me to the church was removed when I returned in the fall. Therefore, I hate to be all consumer's about it but I just did not want to be there. I chose to work on Sundays instead. Of course I still was a small group leader so I kind of had church on Wednesday nights. Now I realize that I also need church for myself on Sundays.
The epiphany came when Anton and I finally had a chance to hang out. It had taken us 3 months to finally hook up again since Peru but I finally had a Saturday night off so we went out for some drinks and food and I got to meet some of his friends. The best part was that he invited me to his church the next morning and I thought why the heck not. It would be nice to check his church out just to see what was happening.
I am not going to lie...It was a little awkward at first; however, I do strive off awkward. It was mildly awkward because for the first time in my life I was a cultural minority. When Anton introduced me to the only other white guy there I was surprised to find out that it was their pastor Rick. Long story short, I have been going there for 2 weeks and I am loving every minute of it. It is the first church that I have been to where the people are actually interested in you. There are an extremely welcoming family of God and they have set the bar for what other churchs should strive for. The other pro about this church is that the service starts at 9:30 so that means I can go and play hockey with the guys from work at 12. THANK YOU GOD!!!
The other thing that I love about the church is that God is using the pastor to hit me right where I need to be hit. God is just using him to tell me how to live out this phase in my life and I love him for that. However, this is where the frustration comes into play.
Whats frustrating about decision making is what to choose. I am not talking about little things like what to have for dinner I am talking about big things like where does God want me too work in order to save the money for Capernwray or what does God want me to do with my life after Capernwray? (I've been watching a lot of Scrubs and a doctor would be cool!) There is the stuff that I know I want to do but because I am not totally close to God right now I do not know if those are the decisions that he wants for me.
The other thing in my life that is really frustrating me right now is self motivation. How do people do it? I have a big list if things that I want to accomplish that day before work but instead I sleep in then get up and watch like 5 episodes of Scrubs or Arrested Development(I love Bittorrent) and before you know it it's time to go to work. Then I feel like a retard and completely useless. A lot of the things on the list are things that I want to do too like paint or learn guitar but instead I just sit my fat ass down in front of the computer.
Pastor Rick was talking about miracles and how to prepare for them. I am starting to prepare myself for a couple miracles and I was wondering if you guys could pray for them too. One is that God will provide me with the money that I need for Capernwray without having to go to a place like Fort Mac to cook at a camp. Second is that he gives me the strength and energy to motivate myself to be more useful in the kingdom of God. And finally that I do not drift away from him again because he is the best friend anyone could ever have.
Thanks for listening to me blab. You guys have to check out this Chinese church though its super cool I love it. And you will have to come play some ice hockey sometime. Oh and if any of the Scheinbiens are reading this...DAVE AND JOHN NEED TO MOVE TO EDMONTON!!! Kyle is moving out on Saturday in case you guys were wondering...yippeee!...jk...
